WAIT AND SEE

(by maricar alquizola)

I love it when i run out
of thoughts
or words
It is because i am slowly
Leaving your memories.

I love it when i am numb
Everytime i hear a song
A music that resonates you
It is because I am almost over.

I love it when i read your book
I run my fingers through each word,
Flip its fine pages
Feel the characters, not you
My heart has slowly let you go.

I want to think that you are sad
You miss me in some way
When you read my poem
You will say,
She's talking about me!

Yes, it is you that i am pertaining to
I miss you in a gazillion ways
Rushing feelings that i haven't felt
For more than a decade,
It is you who awakens my soul.

But this illusion has to purposely end
It will be a huge risk to proceed
You'll always be part in the deepest
Of my heart, my soul and my mind.

Please don't be mad if i totally let go
If i choose to love myself over you
If I will hate your memories for awhile
This is just me coping up the regret
Of losing you and those chances..

Your silence now is so deafening
I can't even hear the echo of my own voice
Your unwritten words in the blank page
Makes me feel like a fool, waiting in vain.

So yes, finally i am not going to bother
Pushing myself to the limit of holding on
You may think that i am insignificant
A familiar face you see in your bed side
I'm going to prove to you that I am not.

One day, when you wake up in the morning
You will think of my laughter and weirdness
You'll going to wish of my unconditional love
You will seek my unbeatable listening skills
You will long for my focus of attention
Which you did not give when we sometimes
speak over the dinner or dessert table.

It's alright, i know i am replaceable
Yes, for now you may think i am
Yet, i am simply peculiar in a way
Wait and see, you will look for me..
Seek for the kindness i am born with.

11/03/2015 at 10:43am | MTA ©